It’s been mentioned to me that my blogs so far have been ‘lots of sunshine’. Well, some days are quite sunny, and I am by nature a ‘cup is half full’ kind of girl. This week though has been another story. It started off okay, I was feeling quite strong and happy when I woke up Wednesday morning. Had my hot rice cereal with ground flax, drank my super duper green tea, and hustled out the door to make my 9:00 am appointment with the oncologist. We discussed my visit to the Mayo Clinic, and how the chemo treatment plans differed, and narrowed down the menu from 6 choices to one seemingly best plan. We would start the treatment Monday morning at 9:00 am – yippee, dunno who else is excited about starting chemo, but at this point, I am just ready to get moving.
I was about to zip away to my acupuncture appointment when Dr. M asked if I could stick around for the blood test results to come back. Sure, I could be patient for twenty minutes and catch up on the latest ‘Living with Cancer’ magazine. Where oh where do they hide the Vogue, Skiing, or even Better Housekeeping mags? Can they not have something that does not have to do with cancer at the cancer care center? Come on people, lighten up!
Anyway, the lab reports come back and Dr. M sits down next to me and starts off with the soft stuff. I can tell he has no good news. My kidney counts were elevated, meaning that they were not draining properly and I would likely need a stent in the left side in addition to the right. No big deal, really, an outpatient thing. Then he points down to a really big number on the list – 4.3. He casually explains that this number should really be in the .5 – 1.0 range, meaning that my liver was starting to fail. Okay, another stent, and another outpatient thing, not what I wanted to hear, but I can deal, just don’t start calling me stent girl. Except that they can’t get an outpatient liver stent (called an ERCP for short) scheduled for almost a week and I needed one pronto. So…he would have to admit me to the hospital by noon. Yikes dude, I have plans, kids, stuff to do, arrrgh!
I am going to get well, so what do I do? I packed my bag and headed to the hospital. If you ever find yourself packing for a trip to the hospital, the two most essential items to bring are your fave pillow and some sort of eye mask. Pretty much everything else they can get you, it will just cost three times as much as normal when they add it to your bill. But nothing suits like your own squishy pillow compared to the hard plastic blocks they provide. And the eye mask is essential for surviving my favorite hospital ritual, ‘wake and poke’. If you’ve not experienced this, it’s truly memorable. At 4 am, an extremely chipper lab tech will come to your sleepy room, turn on all the overhead lights, and draw copious amounts of blood. The cutest part is that right before they stick the needle in you, they say ‘poke’. You laugh, but they ALL do it.
Anyway, they give me the ERCP straight away. Next day I got the lovely other two, and they send me home soon after. Good news, right? Except I felt like crap still. So back I came Friday afternoon, to find out I have… pancreantitis! Apparently it’s a common side effect after getting the lovely ERCP. You can look it up if you’re curious, I’ll spare you the details. By Saturday, I was feeling pretty good and expected to go home. But no, another violator has entered my bloodstream, I now also have a strep infection. More antibiotics, another day of wake and poke. So here I am, Sunday night, enjoying the best of SCMC. At least the views are gorgeous, and this time, I can eat.
The plan is still to start chemo tomorrow, we'll see how that plays out. In the meantime, I miss my boys immensely. The big ones and the little ones, and the kitty too. So, my peeps, when you're saying your prayers tonight, please send up happy thoughts for us McMorris' - I swear, I feel them wash over me like a wave and I can endure another round of this dastardly game.
I was about to zip away to my acupuncture appointment when Dr. M asked if I could stick around for the blood test results to come back. Sure, I could be patient for twenty minutes and catch up on the latest ‘Living with Cancer’ magazine. Where oh where do they hide the Vogue, Skiing, or even Better Housekeeping mags? Can they not have something that does not have to do with cancer at the cancer care center? Come on people, lighten up!
Anyway, the lab reports come back and Dr. M sits down next to me and starts off with the soft stuff. I can tell he has no good news. My kidney counts were elevated, meaning that they were not draining properly and I would likely need a stent in the left side in addition to the right. No big deal, really, an outpatient thing. Then he points down to a really big number on the list – 4.3. He casually explains that this number should really be in the .5 – 1.0 range, meaning that my liver was starting to fail. Okay, another stent, and another outpatient thing, not what I wanted to hear, but I can deal, just don’t start calling me stent girl. Except that they can’t get an outpatient liver stent (called an ERCP for short) scheduled for almost a week and I needed one pronto. So…he would have to admit me to the hospital by noon. Yikes dude, I have plans, kids, stuff to do, arrrgh!
I am going to get well, so what do I do? I packed my bag and headed to the hospital. If you ever find yourself packing for a trip to the hospital, the two most essential items to bring are your fave pillow and some sort of eye mask. Pretty much everything else they can get you, it will just cost three times as much as normal when they add it to your bill. But nothing suits like your own squishy pillow compared to the hard plastic blocks they provide. And the eye mask is essential for surviving my favorite hospital ritual, ‘wake and poke’. If you’ve not experienced this, it’s truly memorable. At 4 am, an extremely chipper lab tech will come to your sleepy room, turn on all the overhead lights, and draw copious amounts of blood. The cutest part is that right before they stick the needle in you, they say ‘poke’. You laugh, but they ALL do it.
Anyway, they give me the ERCP straight away. Next day I got the lovely other two, and they send me home soon after. Good news, right? Except I felt like crap still. So back I came Friday afternoon, to find out I have… pancreantitis! Apparently it’s a common side effect after getting the lovely ERCP. You can look it up if you’re curious, I’ll spare you the details. By Saturday, I was feeling pretty good and expected to go home. But no, another violator has entered my bloodstream, I now also have a strep infection. More antibiotics, another day of wake and poke. So here I am, Sunday night, enjoying the best of SCMC. At least the views are gorgeous, and this time, I can eat.
The plan is still to start chemo tomorrow, we'll see how that plays out. In the meantime, I miss my boys immensely. The big ones and the little ones, and the kitty too. So, my peeps, when you're saying your prayers tonight, please send up happy thoughts for us McMorris' - I swear, I feel them wash over me like a wave and I can endure another round of this dastardly game.
Okay - so i'm taking a turn getting mad at cancer for you... I don't think the neighbors love me right now, but it sure felt good to yell and kick things. After that I sat down and prayed for the first time since wetting my pants was still cool. I love you.
ReplyDeleteStay strong and convicted. You are in the midst of a challenging and brutal fight that will have some good days to come but with no doubt many more days that will test your inner strength. What that nasty cancer is starting to learn but hasn’t fully realized is that your inner strength is VERY strong and it will persevere and eventually wear it down. And on those days when you feel your strength is waning; remember you have strength in you, in your friends, and in your family and we are happy to give you some of ours.
ReplyDeleteRemember…
success is sometimes nearest when it seems the farthest.
So stick to the fight when you’re hit the hardest.
Don’t give up when the pace seems slow -
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit but get up and go!
Love you!
Nicole
We love you Sharon! More then words can say and are here to help with anything. Wish we could take some of the pokes for you and some of the heaviness of this crappy illness too! Not a morning, afternoon or evening goes by without my thoughts wandering to you... thinking of you constantly and sending positive, warm vibes and tons and tons of prayers for you and the boys. Love you sister!! Kindra
ReplyDeleteSharon, thanks for this blog and for sharing. We all care so much for you and letting us know how your days go helps all of us so much. That is just like you to think of your friends and family first.
ReplyDeleteI hope your chemo got started today. Not that chemo will be any kind of picnic, but the sooner we can get working on those nasty little cells, the better. We need to kick their little a--es all the way back from wherever they came.
We are thinking of you constantly
Your Minneapolis Mishpucah
Sharon, your attitude is amazing and I know you can beat cancer. I am thinking about you constantly and sending love and prayers your way. Your Sister-in-love, Sue
ReplyDeleteSo, you gotta get outta that hospital bed so we can start planning a trip back to Shangri La. I love to read your comments here and see the fire inside of you. Stay strong, all things are temporary.
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
John